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"Built around 1780 ... a two-hour train ride from Paris ... the neighbor keeps his horses in my backyard ... pies made with apples from my own trees ..."
I caught the highlights of Hugh's broadcast and understood that my first goal was to make him my boyfriend, to trick or blackmail him into making some sort of commitment. I know it sounds calculating, but if you're not cute, you might as well be clever.
(david sedaris in me talk pretty one day)
and i thought nothing would top "motherfucker, i ain't seen pussy in so long i'd throw stones at it."
eta: i finished me talk pretty (hilarious) and was in a big david sedaris kick up until i found out his sister tiffany (the least mentioned sibling in the books i've read) killed herself in may. he wrote a piece about it for the new yorker a few days ago. that one piece killed my enthusiasm for anything david sedaris.
i've always said that reading him gave me the impression he's one of those authors i adore in print but am reasonably sure i wouldn't be crazy about in person. that article cemented this impression. i wish i could articulate why.

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I mean, maybe this was meant to be the POV of a clueless narrator. Which would be a ballsy piece of personal writing, if so. But I'm guessing the effect is not intentional.
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i also can't help comparing the way he usually writes about his deceased mother and the way he wrote about the death of his sister. i could almost hear him thinking, "w/e, mom's death was way worse" when his father suggested naming the beach house tiffany. there's so little affection to be found for the sister, it pushed the cluelessness across the callous border. idk, it was an off-putting read.